Some excerpts from someone with Schizoaffective Disorder (Ongoing) Free

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Today I am going to group. It has been awhile since I have been to group. It’s cold and I don’t really feel like going because of the weather. However, I do want to go for my mental health and to see everyone. It’s relaxing to be there. I thought it was Friday. Today is Thursday. I don’t feel foolish. It is what it is. I’m okay. My mom and I are going to go to some stores.

I just got done exercising for 40 minutes. I have to do 20 more minutes, for today, and then I will be done. I have energy, but I want to sleep. Did exercising give me energy? I stayed on the treadmill for 12 minutes. After that I did 8 minutes of weight training.

Nature is nice. If I could be a botanist I would. I like gardening and plants. I haven’t done it in a while though. Since I got sick with the Schitz. 

My mind feels a bit clearer as I write. However, when I type my mind still feels jumbled. I guess writing by hand is the way to go. I feel stronger. I feel healthier. I feel less congested of the things that plague me.

Weak?Strong?Full of Bones? ( Preview ) Free

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(Preview)

I'll be moving out soon. Yeah, I will have my own place. It will be somewhere to go and rest.  The sleep I can see will be well. There will be less stress on me and ease. I know the house I would like. I will try to get them to go down on the price. I know how much everything will cost. I'll be living from check to check, but I am ready for this home that I look at daily. We are meant to be. Not like some of the other homes I have seen and have thought they could be for me.

A Day At The Library: Wouldn’t it be nice! ( Full ) Free

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Today was okay. I went to the library. I got to play a game using my hotspot called “Play Together(i)” on my iPad. It doesn’t work on my phone well. I also purchased some books from the library. Yes; purchased, they have a room full of books that you can purchase instead of check out. I think every library should have a room to buy books from.

Grass, Sun, Clouds, Water, Sound, Universe, Schizoaffective Disorder.

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Prologue

She felt the sun on her skin, but she didn’t absorb it like before. She felt the grass on her feet, shoes in hand, but she didn’t really feel that grass, she didn’t feel the peace. But she felt that she could, that she would, unless she died first. They always reminded her that she might die at the end, and she would not be able to complete what she was supposed to do. She wanted to complete what she was supposed to do, but something held her back. She can do it though. She really can. But will she?

Is Resting Easy Just A Tale? ( Prologue ) Free

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Prologue

How can I live easily? I have very little, and when I try to make more, it seems as though this month has taken all I get. This is my story and how I got away from a life of little, and towards a life of more.

Princess Dallielah; Locked Away But, I Will See The World One Day ( Prologue ) Free

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Prologue

I’m locked away in a tower and they won’t let me out. I’m not really in a tower. The voices and emotions trap me though, and I can’t seem to get to myself. That’s why I’m a princess. Princess Dallielah. Who battles schizoeffective disorder and I am with many more insecurities that at least every princess or prince has one of. However, with this new medication, it seems things might be changing, and I might one day be able to get out of this castle.

Health Check ( Full ) Free

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I sit on this brown couch, Typing, Typing. My back hurts. My mind comes with pain. Schizophrenia and my mental health. They tell me different things. Should I write this? Should I write that? Should I erase this? Is it wrong to write this is it wrong to have an opinion? Why do they keep on bothering me? Is it because I have been chosen? Is it because of something else? At the end it does not matter, I have become healthier. Healthier to write this. Healthier to do things on my own. 

Urge: The Girl Full With Anxiety ( Chapter One Preview ) Free

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Chapter One (preview)

Have you ever been like this? A mess? A reck? Having a need for freedom, but freedom being so far away? Why do we judge? Why do we bully? Why? Am I strong enough for this? Will I end up doing something unquestionable like...oh I don’t need to think about that. I should move my mind elsewhere towards positive thoughts. But where are they? How do I do this? Am I all alone?

My Boring little story ( Full ) Free

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Notice* Hi, before you continue, this story is one of schizophrenia. It is based on a true story. However, a few things have been changed. Do not read, if you are frightened easily or are delusional. Research the illness, if you would like. :) Thank you for reading. These notices are important.

Urge: The Girl Full With Anxiety ( Prologue ) Free

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Recognition

For all the schizophrenics with that urge. To all the people who have overcome.

Prologue

She walked into the room. She felt horrible, and the urge to run away. But she didn’t. She sat down in a seat after getting a ticket and stayed right where she was at. Anxiety. Boy, it had her. She sucked in a breath. She tried to calm down, but it would not let her. She tried to think about getting a reward for herself for coming this far and going out. But that didn’t help very much. She was frozen. Stiff. She couldn’t take it. But if she left she wouldn’t get the money she needed to live. So she stayed and went through the whole thing. She walked out and she took a breath, before speeding to her car. She was done. Now all she had to do was get home. And things would truly be complete.

The Bridge: A Letter To Me ( Full ) Free

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A bridge connected us. There were two cities. You had to cross the bridge if you wanted to go to the opposite city. 

Schizophrenia: concentration: Focus On Me ( Full ) Free

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Have you ever tried to close your eyes for a long period of time? Or ball your fist up tightly? Maybe point at an object and name it. Can you point at an object while remember where it is and naming it? With schizophrenia it’s hard. I can’t hold a thought long enough before it is taken away and gobbled up by the voices. Or when I try to do something the pain keeps me in bed and it...it hurts. It is horrible. They make choices for me...

Ill: Woof ( Full ) Free

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Prologue

He's gone, and I don't think I will ever see him again. A small dog. A dog that I adored, but not enough. My mind played tricks on me. How? Well an illness occurred and at the time of giving him up, I didn't realize just how much I shouldn't have given him up, until he was in the back of a van, and I was with tears streaming down my face. The cries were of no use my will was gone. I wish he were here with me. I cry to have him, but I feel only a little of me having him. I can't recall many things. It must be because of my illness. He was a wonderful dog though. It was very nice being around him. He did things that made me laugh. He did things that all were really fine with me. Maybe not the ones of the home, but Dynamite was the boom. He was explosive. He moved around much sometimes. He sometimes barked very much at the people of the house. That's why I named him that. A chiweenie, and the cutest one ever. White and Tan. I will always want him to be with me.